10 ways you
can use
this Parenting Plan:
1.
Tool for Awareness and Protection.
It is critically important to become aware of the specific issues that
could jeopardize your parenting rights as a father and those of your
children as well. Unfortunately, children often become the pawns in a
divorce or custody dispute and you must do everything possible to avoid
this. Section III offers suggestions and possibilities that could help
protect your rights as a father and counteract strategies or negotiating
techniques that may either be used against you, or are not in your best
interest.
2.
Communication and Problem Solving. More
than likely, when you and your spouse/ex-partner were together there
were communication breakdowns and you did not agree on many of the
issues around your children. Built into this Parenting Plan are
guidelines which offer solutions to these problems. This will make it
easier to resolve outstanding issues in a fair and equitable way and
allow you to co-parent more effectively. Having something in
writing makes both parties more conscious of their agreements and more
apt to follow through with their commitments.
3.
Team Approach.
It is far better for you and your ex-partner to make the decisions
regarding your child’s welfare rather than a stranger, such as a
judge. With this in mind,
the best way to use this Parenting Plan is for you and your ex-partner
to sit down together as a team (if she is willing), and use it as a
checklist. Ask for her input on each point, take good notes, revise the
document -
including any suggestions that you have agreed to -
and you will soon have a completed Parenting Plan. This is by far the
simplest, most sane approach to ending your divorce in a positive
constructive way, and most importantly, it will reduce the stress and
create a more stable transition for you and your children during a time
of great disruption. And remember, you can always mediate disputed
points to come up with alternatives that work for both of you.
Another
point worth noting here: if your divorce is basically “uncontested,”
meaning that you both want a divorce and you are in agreement with the
issues at hand, now is the time to work out ALL the details of
how you wish to raise your children -
while you are still getting along. Often problems don’t come up until later,
and if tensions run high, it can be almost impossible to resolve even
the simplest issues without ending up in court. With a solid
parenting plan in place, you will have peace of mind knowing that the
issues are handled.
4.
Potential Agreement with Your Ex-Partner.
After you have made the necessary additions, changes and corrections to
this plan, taking into account the needs of your family, you can then
present it to your ex-partner as a potential Parenting Agreement to be
filed as part of your separation/divorce settlement.
5. File
a Separate Parenting Plan. If your
ex-partner will not work with you on a parenting agreement, you can
submit your completed Parenting Plan to the court for the judge to
review. When parents cannot come to an agreement and each one files a
separate Parenting Plan, the judge will often select the one that is
more complete, well thought-out, and takes all the important
considerations into account. If you don't file one and your
ex-partner
does, the judge will most likely approve hers or, the judge may come
with one one that neither of you are pleased with. If this happens, you
will have to live with it. This is why it is so important to file
a solid plan of your own.
6.
Preparation for Your Mediator or Attorney.
Once you have completed this customizable Parenting Plan yourself, you
can give it to your mediator or your attorney so that he or she is fully
aware of your goals. If you give it to an attorney, he can then finalize
the plan for filing by citing statutes and incorporating terminology
specific to your state if required in your state. Having a plan already prepared will
save you hundreds -
if not thousands -
of dollars in fees.
7.
Check List. Use this plan as a
checklist to make sure you are including the essential points in your
agreement. If your attorney has already drafted a Parenting Plan, you
can then use it to ensure that he has included these points.
8.
Save Money by Filing
Yourself. If your divorce is “uncontested” or if you do not have
enough money to hire an attorney and you are willing to study some very
basic aspects of your state code, you could add the necessary statutes
and specific terminology required, and file this Parenting Agreement
along with your other divorce papers. Also know that your local county
clerk may often be able to supply you with written guidelines (usually
for a small fee) that can help you with these concerns.
9.
Working Parenting Plan. Since the
points in this plan are written in a very simple and easy to understand
manner, you will learn how to make changes or additions as needed,
creating an actual Parenting Plan that you can file with your local
court.
10. If You
Already Have an Existing Plan.
Reading this document will give you clarity as to the points you might
wish to add or include in an existing plan when the possibility arises,
either in mediation, arbitration, or if you have to go to court. Once
filed with the court, a Parenting Plan becomes a legal document and is
not easy to change unless you and your ex are in agreement. If she is,
it is just a simple formality of filing an addendum.